I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
