It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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