I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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