6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize