I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
my phone needs a breathalizer
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
