idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Randomize
