Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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