and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
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