yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
