I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
