this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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