i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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