New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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