He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize