Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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