So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
