it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
