Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
she told me i tasted like america
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
