Nicole vs. Life
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
