talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
