Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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