I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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