he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
