Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
