so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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