your room smells of hookers.
And success
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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