I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
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