I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
