No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
