.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
