Yo dont text me then not text me
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
