She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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