i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I wish there were birth control emojis
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
