So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
