I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Dignity is for republicans.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
