My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
