i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
