Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
