That's intense
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
