All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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