is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
