theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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