nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
