So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
