you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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