Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
