VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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