Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
