my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
