I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
