I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
She bit a glass in half.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
When did we convert life to cartoon?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
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