Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize