you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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