im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
