Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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