He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
so let's talk penis.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
