I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Randomize
