And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize