I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
