i may or may not be watching the land before time
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
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