You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
