it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
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