would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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