There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
